After a personal and emotional situation, I finally received inspiration to go back to Conchello, a novel I started but lost do to my hard-drive crashing. I had the entire beginning of the novel, it was utterly beautiful, but lost it all, and now I have learned the valuable lesson to store everything online. Since that incident, I have been putting off this story out of laziness, but finally was inspired to write the beginning of the last chapter of the book. I apologize for the foul language, but I can ensure you it is put there for a reason, it will make sense when you read the entire novel. But for now, consider this an excerpt, and unedited section of a novel. Please, tear it up, let me know what should be changed, or how you like it. Comment on it below:) (also, I used a lot of commas, kind of an experiment I guess. Do you think it makes the text more confusing/annoying?)
Loyalty. Bloody loyalty. The dictionary defines loyalty as a “faithful adherence to a sovereign, government, leader, cause, etc.;an example or instance of faithfulness, adherence, or the like”. Fealty, devotion, constancy, an allegiance, all synonyms of this messed up, nonsense word. I was so bloody fucking loyal.
And yet again I am left to rot in this bloody hell hole of an earthly essence, alone, just as the striped hyena that dwells in the foothills of Afghani.
How could that insensitive bitch leave me? Her scent has been drowned in the crumbling pine green walls laced throughout the halls. From end to fucking end, that legend of a whore will forever haunt, forever taunt that entire wretched structure of a whore house. I have been nothing but good, nothing but kind. I gave everything for her, for those tits that nourished me as a wee boy. I fucked her fucking friends simply to make her proud, to prove to her she raised a man.
I was a man for Laini. I gave everything for her, just as I did for mother, just as mum told me too. Never once have I been graced with a true friend, never once has anyone stayed. They always leave, the pack will always turn. Born an outcast, I will forever be. She made me that way, that whore mother made me who I am. And now I am turning into that bloody cunt. It is an inevitability, and now, even she, my own fucking mother, she abandons me. That’s two women, in three days.
My dick is all Laini wanted. No, what am I saying, she doesn’t want me, not my dick. She only wants my hand, my bloody substitution of a mouth. It was never me, just my provisions. I was that bloody fool, the only one to show my true selflessness, to show any sort of fucking compassion. She, that true, genuine whore, she made me care, made me fucking care, only to fake it back once she sees it all.
She can’t handle me, my horridness, the brutality of an outsider. I am not one of them, nor will I ever be one of these monstrous beings I resemble, these horrid creatures they call human.
