This Resolution

I never make New Year's Resolutions, especially on Christmas Eve...
However upon much reflection and many a struggle, and the innate desire to finish this novel, I have come to the dark realization that I must continue writing. 
A Sailor and an Inn, first a storm of words thrown together in anguish and hurt, transformed into a poem and now the makings of a novel, has been laundering over me these past months that I've been intentionally avoiding it. 
So why am I writing this post? Basically it is a Self Resolution that I will stop procrastinating this novel. When I was writing it, I found myself back in that dark chamber, with no way out, an aura of desperation mixed with the perfect amount of depression. I produced great work, but it scared me. I felt myself close off from all emotion, all people and work. I didn't care to do anything but write. And though that sounds like the perfect writing situation, it took a tole on my mental health, bringing me back to the darkness. 
But then I realized that is exactly the situation writers go through on a daily basis, putting themselves into the very environment in which they are creating, so as to experience their mind for themselves.
So I encourage you, fellow writers, do not let this keep you from writing. It is a dark experience, but ultimately it will open your eyes to see the realness of this world. You will come out of it, and with this coming you will have a new piece of work, one which you personally have lived. 
I realize this just came off really dark, and I am not trying to make it seem that way, simply I just want to say that emotions should not keep you from writing. The words build up and flood your head, whether you recognize your work or not, it is in your head creating chaos. And it is your responsibility to your mental sanity to push through and write the damn words down.

Phantom of the Opera

One of my good friends recently mentioned reading Phantom of the Opera by Leroux. I was astonished and yet somewhat embarrassed to learn that there was a book, for my only knowledge and original love of the story had been obtained from Broadway's musical.
Never had it occurred to me that this love story did, indeed, occur in the realm of our universe instead  of some extent of one's mind.
While reading, I was astonished to see how much of the story had been left out and/or changed in the musical. Frankly, it left me a little dissapointed. I consider myself one of those "originalies", believing that the original of any story is an original for a reason, especially when it comes from nonfiction.
So for the first half of the book I was loving the viewpoint of Raoul- the whole love-type story now making a bit more sense. I felt like the musical (and I am aware there are numerous versions of this renounced story) focused mainly on Christine, who played an important role but not necessarily the only important role. In my opinion, the main viewpoint should have been split almost evenly between Christine, Raoul, and Eric (the Phantom).
And don't get me wrong, I still am a huge fan of the musical, but even in the book I crave more information about Eric. And though Leroux gathered as much information as humanely possible, my favorite parts of the book were the excerpts from the Persian's journal about the Phantom's history (yet another thing not included in the musical- which I realize would have been awkwardly placed if it had).
My reasons for writing about this is that 1) I am still amazed at the lack of knowledge that the book even exists (I am including myself in this), and 2) I was planning an animated film of the Phantom of the Opera, and am overly excited to have found the "real" version.
I feel as if the play does not focus as much on Eric's humanity as it does on his "sexy" existence, the essence of a mysterious and powerful being who possesses the power of musical genius. Reading about him in the book, my mind has imagined him some type of psychopath, having no empathy for the human race. Dealing with several people of this unfortunate position in my personal life, I know that he truly is not one due to his undying love for Christine and his innate need to be loved, repeatedly shown throughout the story.
As I begin writing this animated film, I find myself drawing more of my focus on Eric and Raoul. However, I am realizing that this story may be too dark for the younger audience, those who generally watch animated movies these days, and I am finding myself having to censor it down a bit without taking away from the reality of the situation.
What do you think? Do I stick to my "originalee" nature or do I censor down a story that reveals the truth of desire within humanity? And do you think I should split the main viewpoints between Christine, Raoul, and Eric? Or just focus on one or two? Please leave your comments below!

Here

One does not simply come to be.

 People we meet, people we leave.

 Where we stay, with whom we stay. 

These are the things 

that come to be.

 Me?

 I sit here, 

in a tree, 

looking to see who comes to me. 

Up here, 

down there,

there is no difference anywhere.

We are here. 

We are the same. 

Nothing up here.

Nothing down there. 

Rockabilly Outline finished!

After much stress and trying to even decide if the idea is worth it, I finally finished the outline and soon will write the script and create an animation schedule. However, I still am working on the first draft of Conchello,  a task proving more difficult as my writer's block continues to rage on. 

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another update

I finally finished the Mother of Pearl outline, and have been struggling to find a main conflict/storyline for Rockabilly, but I think I finally found it. 

But if you guys have any ideas for conflict ideas for an animated film about a girl moving to Southern California in 1954 before her last year of highschool, Please comment below!

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Weekly Update

Lately I have been feeling like I have too many projects going, both with my writing and animation, so I decided to do an old fashioned hand-drawn calendar to help me plan out when I am going to get everything done. I'm pretty stoked, just looking at it gives me a sense of accomplishment. 

As far as Conchello goes, I now have the first two and the last two chapters written, which is unusual for me, but hey, however I can get it done I will. 

The Stamp Collector

    Almost every time I walk into Radina's for a morning coffee, this man is always sitting at the same table, nearly the same outfit every time. A khaki adventurist hat with a bleak mustard shirt, underneath a native american print woven vest with grey pants and black hiking boots. He always has the same walking stick,  glasses, and a short pony tail to accompany his white yet thick beard and mustache.
   This elder man always intrigues me, for he always seems both happy and passionate about life. Like the creeper I am, I have started to listen in on his conversations, whom he always has with someone new. So far I have been blessed to hear the passion and awe in his voice as he shares his stamp hobby with anyone who will listen, showing them catalogs and telling them specific stories of the stamps he is most proud of.
   He reminds me of America itself. Yes, I do mean the essence of this great nation. Being able to take your books and hobbies every morning wherever you go, and having the freedom and love of something to be able to talk about it with random strangers, somehow getting them excited about learning something entirely new. I am still waiting for the right time to approach this man, and I hope to strike up a conversation of my own. For some reason he just makes me incredibly happy whenever I see him. I don't know whether it's because he reminds me a the midwestern grandfather figure or because of his impeccable passion for the life he lives. Either way, I feel blessed to be able to see him so regularly, and can't wait for the chance to get to know him.